Our Journey

more scrapping

2010-07-03T12:41:00.000+10:00

2010-06-13T19:50:00.001+10:00

2010-05-18T10:11:00.001+10:00

2010-04-28T06:03:00.000+10:00

2010-04-05T08:17:00.000+10:00

2010-02-27T22:03:00.002+11:00

Just thought i could add my scrap stuff here...

2009-11-22T20:57:00.002+11:00

Wow, i have been so slack, so I'll start with 1 child at a time.

Tamika is 8 and most the time just wonderful! Thinks washing up the dishes and Mum are the best things since sliced cheese, so I'm happy! Dancing has just finished for the year and the concert was great to watch last weekend. She is now also finishing up Girl Guides for the year and also loving every moment of that and swimming and Nippers will continue into early next year. Girl Guides doesn't recommence till Feb.

Next weekend is the Santa parade she is involved in with Guides so I'll get some photos to share from that.

Updates

2009-06-07T22:40:00.005+10:00

Not much new really......

Tamika's dance group at school was accepted into the school festival so we have had rehearsals for that last Friday (i had to do my first ever braid in her hair, will beg for help for the actual concert). Tamika has reached the highest levels in her spelling and maths groups, something she has strived to do which we are proud of.

Jared is killing Kindergarten, and went from reading level 2, to 5 in one test. Also very proud of him. He also does extremely well at maths, so I'm told ( i haven't been a part of his group the last few weeks).

Tahlia, well she just keeps on trying to keep up with the older 2 and does a good job at that. Her talking is still amazing and her sentence of the week is "Jared did it" or "Jared's annoying me".

As for me, this is the last week of me doing 5-6 shifts a week and I'm really looking forward to some normality again. I know 30hrs is perfect for me, anything extra just puts a strain on me and the family. This week i will do about 44 hrs, way too much! Bring on next week :)

Moving right along....too quickly

2009-05-17T21:41:00.003+10:00

Mothers day was pretty uneventful in a sense. Woke up to a wonderful bunch of kids and their pressies. Tamika got me a gorgeous basket of bath stuff and told me the basket will be great for my scrapping stuff when I'm finished with the bath stuff, very thoughtful and cute. Jared got me some chocolate almonds and was very disappointed i wouldn't let him open them at breakfast. Tahlia gave me a beautiful poem with hand prints and a hand made rose, very nice!

Ian bought me a much needed jumper/jacket which i love and is very warm.

He took the kids to his mums for the day as i worked, and from I've heard it really made her day. They left the same time as me and literally pulled up home the same time i finished work. Big day with over 5hrs driving for them but they all had a great day.

Just for fun

2009-04-30T09:25:00.007+10:00

The last 2 days of school holidays i made a point of simply having some fun with the kids and 2 of the things we did was go and kick the soccar ball around and go to the local BMX track. So of course we had to take the cameras.

Miss Tahlia, aka Golden child

2009-04-26T00:45:00.006+10:00

Hard to know where to really start. Tahlia is almost 2 and a half and one little individual. She goes to preschool 2 days a week while i work and that has never been a problem, she loves it. Always gives me a kiss goodbye and then waves out the window as i leave. Preschool love her and i am always hearing cute stories of what she has been up to, especially standing up for herself.

Her speech is amazing, coming from a someone who has dealt with speech therapy for years with Jared, she speaks a lot in full sentences and it's her normal reactions that amaze me. 'Mum, where's Tamika?', 'at Leighs having a sleepover', 'that's not fair' is her response with heaps of body language. Ummm you are 2 she's 7, get over it! Tahlia also loves chatting on the phone to nanny which is very cute.

She is still small and petite, just like her sister. Gotta love still putting on size 0 pants now that she is day trained. Otherwise she's a 2 in tops. She is also a little fashion queen and every morning and night is a bit of a fight between my practical suggestions and what she wants to wear.

scrapping bits

2009-04-26T00:00:00.003+10:00

Easter at the Pitstocks

2009-04-12T20:52:00.005+10:00

Nothing different to millions of other parents everywhere, but it's still a highlight in my kids life. The one and only day they can eat chocolate for brekkie and all day long.

The kids got from the Easter bunny, 3 small bags of small eggs for the hunt, Tamika and Jared got a small box with 3 normal size eggs and a torch, one dora and one Bob the Builder (can't help but being practical, they need there own torches for camping ), Tahlia got a egg cup and mug with 2 med eggs, Dora again.

From us, i got out my winter clothes layby for them and those small bags of chocolate money. They loved that, they love new clothes . Tah's got zilch from us, not even clothes as she really doesn't need much. There will be more than enough chocolate floating around in the next few days for Tahlia. I also had to get the IL's present as Ian's mum isn't well. So they got from them a pair of pj's each, and Tamika and Jared got an egg moulding kit, complete with chocolate and all the stuff they need.

The only other thing we did spec in the morning is have croissants for brekkie, Tamika's fave!

Easter hat parade

2009-04-10T08:36:00.002+10:00

Jared had is Kindergarten Easter Hat parade yesterday and once i had made the hat, it was lots of fun and very cute. The 4 classes walked around and showed us their hats then they sang and danced to some songs they had learnt, including the chicken dance, funny!

Start of soccer, end of nippers

2009-04-06T14:47:00.004+10:00

We lost the game to a better team, but the 'Invinsibles', as they are known played really well especially the second half. The new small sided games does give the kids more ball play so it was good to see all the kids get a good go.

1st man of the match for our team, JARED.....he was very excited and proud, so were we:)

Nippers presentation was last night and both the big kids got their participation medal, another proud moment for the weekend. They both love Nippers and can't wait till next year, Tamika will be in the competion side of it now too.

Jared

2009-04-03T19:46:00.006+11:00

As for our boy, he is 6 in June and has just started Kindergarten at school. Jared loves school and can't wait to get there every morning. He does very well with his school work (which i know Tamika is the influence, he wants to be like her), and also received the 'Citizen of the week' for the school. We were so proud of him:). He received a nice big certificate and a Dymocks voucher which he spent of Mr Men books, cute.

Jared loves playing, he is such a boy! Slowly he is becoming nicer at home, but he can still test every person in this house to their limits.

Jared finished his 1st summer of Nippers and did well, his strength was board riding. We have the presentation on Sunday, so look forward to seeing him get his 1st medal. (just the standard token at the end of the season, rather than a trophy)

Soccer is back on and officially starts this weekend. Jared has had a few pre match games, how cute does that sound, but tomorrow is the official day to start.

The beginning of catch ups, Tamika....

2009-04-02T18:36:00.005+11:00

This photo Tamika got the role of BBQ toast on out last camping trip, she did a great job:)

Tamika is 8 in July and in year 2 at school. She has a lovely teacher this year, as she always has had really, and is going along well at school. She is in the highest levels for spelling and maths, and her reading is amazing, her home readers are mini novels now that take up to an hour to read. I usually sit thru a chapter or two and leave the rest till quiet time before bed. Then she writes down the words she doesn't know or understand and we go thru them. She is also about to start the Premiers reading challenge and is going to do the year 3 and 4 books. Which i think most kids are, but sounds good.

She has completed the swimming scheme thru school now too and really enjoyed that. I must also get her back into normal swimming lessons.

Dancing is her 'thing' still, and does after school dancing and another dancing class at sport time, that actually starts to gear them up for the big school spectacular in the future.

She still has a heart of gold as she always has had, and is now leaning towards nicer friends as such. Lucky there is plenty of them around.

Generally she eats well and is a good girl at home, she is especially good with Tahlia, and they will end up good friends at this stage. She would dress and do heaps to help with Tahlia but being the head strong person Tahlia is, she normally complains and wants me. Tamika definitely tries hard to help with Tah's, that's for sure.

With Jared she shows off a bit and asks him to spell words well beyond him, that's about the most negative thing i can think of. She just gets the 'well I'm glad you can do year 2 stuff well, I'm sure Jared will too in 2 YEARS TIME'!

She scraps again

2009-04-01T17:37:00.005+11:00

I have been totally inspired again and scrapping a fair bit. All of these come from the 52 pick up challenge at LSBS.

This was at Killalea, our 1st camping trip. I got a handful of nice shots of Ian teaching Jared how to skim rocks.

Made this for a friends 4th birthday and filled it with hair things, she loved it thankfully :)

Tahlia playing.

Jared about a year ago.

This was a Dr Seuss theme

Tah's

Day out with my Dad and Jared's 2 cousins.

End of year rap up

2008-12-29T19:14:00.002+11:00

So the photos kind of say it all, Jared has finished up preschool now and Tamika has had her end of year concert for dancing. Nippers is still up and going, both big kids doing that now and love it.

Tahlia is her normal self, 2 going on 12, so she'd like to think. Talks very well for her age and stands up for herself to no end, i think we have a mini Ian here, lol!!!!

More coming with Christmas update soon :)

Tamika's ice skating party

2008-08-02T15:24:00.003+10:00

Our snow trip photos

2008-08-02T14:59:00.002+10:00

Jared on the scadoo.

Off for their ride, Jared is on the front one, you just can't really see him.

Little Miss mischief, poor thing was house bound but she was good enough

Dad and the big kids

Tamika

Jared

Mum and big kids

Mika about to take off

So what's been happening?

2008-05-31T23:44:00.003+10:00

The girls had their grommets in 2 weeks ago and poor little Mika had to have her adenoids removed again! We signed the consent forms at an appointment but the chances were less than 1:100 and thought she was OK, (no more heavy breathing and sleep apnea), but alas not. Ian and i new something was up when she was in surgery for so long. Anyways it's all done now and Tamika's hearing is fantastic and very noticeably better.

Jared's soccer is still heaps of fun and yesterday we handed back the weekly trophy for player of the week. Jarry was so proud, as all the team are when they get their week. He certainly has his good and bad days though, it's frustrating when he has a game and he's off in la la land. So new rules include no sleepovers away on Friday nights and sausage sanga or drink if he puts in 100% effort after the game. It's not about winning or scoring the goals, it's about how hard he tries.

As for me, well I'm fine and well, but not so sure about all this work. I love my job, the actual work isn't the issue and i am now managing to keep up at home but that's where it all ends. There is no me time, or just spare time. I haven't organised anything socially since i started doing the 5 shifts so my friends and family have been neglected, i scrape to keep up on the Internet and my emails and have even chosen online shopping for Jarry's birthday as i just don't get to the shops without him.

But how do i go back in pay when we are just getting things together again financially. It's a no win situation, guess I'll just have to go harder and make the social thing happen (if i can do Tahlia's party after a day of work i can do anything). Just having a whinge.......

On the good side of that, Ian is being super dad and really making the most of his career change for better hours. The kids really do have a great family life, even if it is Dad or Me and not us all together.

Kind of makes maternity leave tempting again, NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol

Thought i needed a shake up on my blog, hopefully i can better again at keeping it updated. Have heaps of photos to share and have just noticed how old my slide pics are now, so promise to update that too very soon.

LOVE GUNS AND ROSES, and thought this would be a nice song to add.

2008-05-02T20:40:00.002+10:00

hello...

2008-04-27T00:18:00.003+10:00

Life is just moving way too quickly.

Mika is growing up and really starting to work other kids out. She has a heart of gold that girl and will tolerate most of what other kids can dish out, but i have now seen her lose the plot and almost rip another friend apart for the first time. This was also after they had spent 3 days and two LATE nights together.

I saw the prob unravelling, Tamika is picking flowers for me as i watch out my kitchen window, friend intentionally knocks them out of her hands. Tamika comes in upset telling me what happened, friend follows her in and tells me Tamika was hitting her! Tamika saw red and yelled so ferociously back at her about lying. She stormed to her room and told me friend was not allowed in her room. What do you do, i saw the friend being totally out of line, but she was due to go home any minute. I don't believe in the 'so and so' can't go in my room at any time, and this was no exception, but friend decided to go out side with the boys! Dad arrives and kids slip off home, Tamika then balls her eyes out at me for not getting to say goodbye! Who can work out 6 year olds hey!

As for Jarry, he's cruising along. Loves computer games atm, considering he isn't into tv at all, it's not that bad. His soccer is going great guns and he has learnt some good little lessons too. The first few games were all about goals, for all the kids. Then the kids all started stripping the ball off their own team mates and scoring goals. Jared having size on his side managed to perfect this technique and scored 6 of the 10 goals in one game. After about the 4th time he steals the ball just before the goal Ian and i are getting embarrassed. By the end of the game he got in trouble from the coach and was made to apologise for his last steal to the player involved. Since then he has been a perfect team mate and not done it since (and still scoring goals). So we are very happy and proud he has taken the advice on board. Don't forget we are talking under 5's, lol, but they do have one rockin little team.

Now devilchild, ooops i mean Goldenchild:). Wow she is almost 18 months and has definitely hit the toddler tantrums (something actually quite new to me) and warming up well and truly for the terrible two's. Nah, she's not that bad, i think i just forget, but she is so into everything and nothing is off limits to her. You know when she is ready for bed as she goes from one naughty thing to another. It's great having the older two, they do most my dirty work now, 'get the remote of Tah's or get Tahlia down from the table', they love being bossy and i don't get the screaming at me, lol!

Took some cute pics today of Tahlia with little pig tails that made her look like an alien, a pretty one though. I was too efficient with packing up and put the cable thing away in the bedroom so will try and upload soon.

Everything is good

2008-03-21T00:21:00.002+11:00

Just busy as always, hate to sound so commen.

Nippers (surf club training) is all finished accept for presentation night. Now soccar and dancing are in full swing, and i'm loving every moment of it. Jared scored 2 goals at his last game and both of us were very proud parents. His first game he was goalie, and he did a fine job at that too, saving 4 goals and l got in. Both games our team has won!!! Very cute.

As for me, just adjusting to my new work schedual of 30 hrs a week, all good so far.

I won...

2008-03-05T20:26:00.002+11:00

Ha, not what you're probably thinking, but i have my sis addicted to card making. She originally dabbled in some scrapping, but lost heart. So now i have finally hooked her into card making. She is going crazy wanting to get stuff. See what happens at one of Rachel Greigs classes.

I am so happy to have someone to play with:)

Jared

2008-02-29T13:19:00.002+11:00

the upcoming soccar star...

the punk rock climber

Just for fun....

2008-02-27T17:42:00.000+11:00

I did this first page all on it's ownsome, but when the challenge came up at Blumars WW of doing a LO without a picture, this was the best idea i could come up with. Not to mention i missed the hint about the 'love' theme, so don't think i was too convincing when i told everyone how much Tahlia really loves the phone.

This was also for the Blumars WW. The challenge was to decorate a bandaide tin, this was my decorated tin.

3 chickadee's off to school

2008-02-26T13:25:00.001+11:00

Bits and pieces in craft world

2008-02-15T10:31:00.004+11:00

This Lo is for the monthly challenge at Blumars. This is still my fav photo of the goldenchild so far. I also used the bubblewrap painting technique taught to us by Sharnook at Blumars. I used the two different sizes of bubbles for the two colours to help match her dress.

Look at this, i learnt to emboss, finally!!!! I hade some luck last week and Ian hurt his foot (that wasn't the lucky part, lol) and had a couple of days off work. So managed to slip in one of Rachel Greig's classes on 'shabby chic'. Always love Rachel's classes and hope to do another one at the end of the month, 'brushless painting techniques'. Have my talked my sister into coming too, so hopefully i can get her into craft stuff yet!

Wednesday the 13th of February

2008-02-13T17:23:00.002+11:00

At least the day is almost over. I have had a dreadful headache all day, not even panadol could cure, not sure if i should blame Kalen or Tahlia for it. Too much going through my head. Just a miserable day all round including the weather. I felt pretty down this morning but have picked up over the day. There is nothing really nice at all about this day. We planned to go down the beach this afternoon, but it was too cold and miserable.

One shining part of the day was Tahlia at child care, she had a great day!!! I'm totally shocked and was not prepared for her to spend the day there. So kept pottering around the house cleaning and tidying. Will be better planned for Friday :). I am just so proud of her.

Ian and i weren't game to go out to lunch so oppted for takeaway hamburgers instead, but the shop was closed due to Chinese new year. Must keep that in mind for next year, lol! So toasted cheese and tomato sanga's at home it was.

Tomorrow

2008-02-12T20:45:00.000+11:00

is one big bad day. I already have mixed emotions about Tahlia starting Preschool, and know it is going to end in tears, mine and her's. Not to add the already emotions of Kalen. This afternoon has been a mixed run of what i was doing this time two years ago.

I think today will be worse than tomorrow, or i am hoping. I know last year, my main thought was 'thank goodness it's not one year ago'. It still rips my heart apart when i let myself really go back to that time.

One good thing.....i always thought i'd never let go of the thoughts of Kalen's actual death, something i thought about every single day. Now i don't think about it daily, have been lately, but that's made me realise.

Two things that made my day today, a wonderful friend visited for lunch, someone who will probably never realise how much they mean to me, and another friend who rang. She was looking for someone to take over a gardening job and wanted someone with good work ethics. I can't help her out, but chuffed i was asked.

Really missing my little boy tonight, and there was something sad about putting Tahlia down to sleep tonight.

2008-02-12T20:32:00.000+11:00

I took Jared to speech therapy this week and picked up 'Sydney's child' ( a free large mag published based around Sydney and childrens interests). Really only picked it up as we were 10mins early. Flick thru and the first article that grabs my attention is 'Pregnancy after loss'. Knowing these articles are normally based on miscarriage and still birth, it still always gets me after the stress and agony i went thru with Tahlia. I read, and to cut this story short, i start to feel some resemblances not only with me but with another story i have heard recently. Yes, it's the lady from Australian story. So now i have her name 'Jane Hansen' and her book was '3 Seasons', that's when i put it all together.

I am just so satisfied someone can get out there and tell their story and be of such strength. I am no one, but i am just so proud of this lady.

Why do things happen the way they do?

2008-02-02T23:27:00.000+11:00

Today I put Tahlia down to bed just before 12 for her sleep and she went off as per usual. Big kids were taken down the beach by Dad as the sun came out unexpectantly. So indulged myself with a bit of scrapping and had a go at the bubble wrap LO class by Sharnook.

Next i hear Tahlia crying, wait a moment thinking she'll go back to sleep, but more crying and it's getting worse. Knowing she won't be going back to sleep, i get her up after only half an hour. Figure i'll sit on the lounge and watch TV and hope she nods back off to sleep, as she normally sleeps a solid 2hrs.

So grab remote and flick on TV, note here that i don't watch TV pretty much ever. Get to ABC and see premmie baby and new i was hooked to what ever this show was going be. Turned out to be 'Australian story', and was the story of parents who lost a baby at 8months from the ongoing complications of cronic lung problems from premature birth. They took him home from 3 and a half months, he was going so well.

Anyways, i sat there just bawling, tears wetting my lap trying to avoid dripping all over Tahlia. The interviews with mum were just so intense and the words she was saying about losing a child rang only too true. (now i'm crying again) So i keep holding Tahlia tight and watch the entire show.

Two things i just can't let go off, these are not quotes by any means, just how i remember them,

the overwhelming love and grief hits everysingle cell in your body, it is a state of mind, something you become

i have a broken heart, but it is a bigger and better one now

She was or is, an amazing woman, i should find out more about her, she has written a book.

Well Tahlia fell back asleep, so i wonder why she woke up and i put on the TV!

Decision made

2008-02-02T22:52:00.000+11:00

Well it was pretty clear where i was heading, but just needed the back up support from those i love. So it's official, the Goldenchild starts preschool not this week but next and i start my extra shifts in March. This way she get's to have a gradual intro to preschool, and the first week or two she'll only go a couple of hours.

Positives,
* I trust and am happy with the care Tahlia is going into. This is the fifth year i have have children in there.
* Tahlia needs more interaction without me involved, maybe one day she will actually let someone else hold her
* Money
* I am heaps more organised when i work, sounds weird, but i am. No time to put things off till tomorrow
* two full days with no one home, hence no one to make mess:)
* I love my job and it will be great to get back into it more. The more i am there, the easier my job is all round, if that makes sense.
* Dad gets to be more of a Dad ;)
* Already have some holiday hrs owing so it shouldn't be a problem getting the week off here and there that i need over the coming year.

Negatives,
* Less home time which means less craft time.
* No swimming lessons this year for Tahlia as i'll always have Jarry too.
* Coping while we go thru the 'adjusting' stage with Tahlia being left at preschool.
* Preschool illnesses :(

So positives definately outweigh the negatives.

Finally took the camera

2008-01-26T23:37:00.000+11:00

We are always down the beach, but having Miss Tahlia around i don't let go of her pretty much anywhere near the water and she loves sucking on shells and eating sand, so she is a handful to say the least. Thought it was about time to get some more pics at the beach, but what a hassle, told Ian I'll go get some pics of big kids before he goes in. Come back to find Tahlia filling my camera bag with sand, GRRRRR men!!!!

My washed out sand pool Tahlia and i made. Also the better of the photos of them all together.

I brief moment keeping Talia's hat on. Only because she is more interested in getting into my camera bag.
Jared looking pro, he's getting there and proud as punch!
Jared's new board that he loves to pieces.
Watch her Tamika and don't let go of her!!!! Dad is surfing and mum is taking pics.

A big decision to make

2008-01-26T23:04:00.000+11:00

I have been toying with the idea of putting Tahlia into preschool with Jared this year. Not only are my babysitting options down to only, my one wonderful best friend who also works 5 days a week (looks after my 3 one Sunday every 5 weeks), but Tah's has some huge separation anxiety problems and still to this day won't let anyone else hold or feed her except Ian and I (Tamika feeds her at Leigh's, true!).

So as i ponder this idea, i realise everything has to be just right, work available, preschool days available that match Jareds and so on. Knowing these things probably are not going to be easy, so kind of give up on the idea. Need to mention here too, we are broke, with me being back at work my 2 shifts we are only just matching Ian's old wage :(. I grab any extra shifts i can that fit in with Ian home.

So.......i walk into work yesterday and my work mate who covers lots of shifts in the cafe tells me she is retiring, good on her. My mind starts ticking....next my boss comes and retells me the news and that if he can't cover 2 of her days he has to employ someone else. These two days happen to be Jared's preschool days the ones i would want if i did put Tahlia in to child care!!!!!

Now i am left with the option of taking it all on now, or maybe missing my chance to get those days shifts for maybe years. It just feels to me that everything is coming together for a reason and this is meant to be. BUT, i hate the thought of Tahlia being put into childcare at 16months, it just doesn't seem right, she is too young. Ian is very keen, he has no probs off loading the kids like me. The only good part i think is Jared will be there, rather than waiting till next year and she will be on her lonesome as he starts big school.

I'll be taking on 5 shifts a week then, about 30 hrs all up, but if Tahlia can play the game at childcare, 2 of those shifts are when all kids are cared for, two are nights and only one day when all the kids are home and Ian has them. So i don't feel i am totally neglecting the family, just giving Ian the opportunity to be more of a home dad.

So i guess all in all my mind is made up, but I'm sad for Tahlia. I have to do the 'cruel to be kind' thing. I hate having others look after her, but she needs it, and we certainly need the money.

If you got that far reading my woes, thanks! It's a kind of bitter sweet thing atm.

Two more LO's

2008-01-24T13:20:00.001+11:00

This was one LO i have been wanting to do for a while now. Here i was roughly 6months pregnant with Kalen. I have no idea what i did, but fiddled around with photo editing to get the dreamy kind of look i was after.

My first little play with chalk inks, and i LOVED it. Can't wait to get more now. Thankyou too, to Ngaire for teaching this fab class. That will probably be the end of my scrapping for next week or so, have heaps of other things that'll keep me busy.

Scrap catch up

2008-01-18T14:34:00.001+11:00

This is a desk top calender that was taught to us by Sam(Pootle) at Blumars

CD covers for each of the kids of Kalen's photos
An exploding album taught to us by SamJ

Quick catch up

2008-01-18T14:18:00.000+11:00

Still has those fingers in her mouth

The nicest pic of them all together i can get atm

No real exciting news, just playing happy families and trying to save $$$'s. Girls had their ENT appointments last week and have both been booked in for surgery to have grommets. They have been rated as emergency and the Dr hopes to operate late Feb/early March. Tahlia's tonsils are fine, so very happy we aren't considering chopping them out.

Just boringly busy

2007-12-22T23:30:00.000+11:00

Just like everyone else, have been rushing around the last few weeks finishing up all the kids stuff for the year, doing their parties and all the other bits that lead up to Christmas.

The kids are all going fantastic, but looking forward to having the girls seen by the ENT specialist early Jan. Mika is deaf, Jarry is loud as a result, so our house is just getting madder!

The littlest Miss is going wonderful, and is very much WALKING everywhere now. Quiet proud considering at 10m she was sent off to physio for not bearing her own weight. She is happy as, in her own little kingdom of home with mum, but take mum out of her sight outside our home and things ain't so pretty.

So Merry Christmas to everyone, may it be the day you want it to be and full of love and laughter.

I did it...

2007-12-04T23:02:00.000+11:00

Yesterday i went to my first funeral since Kalen's. I had every reason in the book to get out of it, but it was something i wanted to be part of, and the day wasn't about me. I took Little Miss with me, even though i could have left her home with Ian, as i needed an excuse if things did get too much. I cried, in fact lots, why do tissues seem to disintegrate when you really need them, but i did it. (i lost a friend from school, not real sure about the reasons, but it was sudden. Two children 4 and 6, she was one year younger than me, she also married another friend from school so it was very heart breaking)

I went with my sister, and although i hadn't mentioned anything it felt nice when she told me how well i did and she was running with me if i did have to leave.

Crazy, crazy, crazy

2007-12-02T20:57:00.000+11:00

And we are all feeling the effects. Everyone has these kinds of photo's, but still had to share:)

Please stay awake, here's some cheese.

Just finished a 22 hr wk of work, ok may not be much to some, but decent for me. Had our first dance concert Saturday night too for Mika, but the big one for us is Tuesday night. IL's coming down and we are all going (mmm, hope to get just a bit past Mika's dance before i bail out with two youngest).

Dancing in the rain

2007-12-01T21:29:00.000+11:00

One of those moments in life, just had to go for it. Everyone else had heaps of rain for days but not us, so when it hit we made the most of it. Thanks Shaddiegirl for the inspiration and Mel (not sure if you even read my blog, but also thought of you). Missed the best of the pictures as batteries ran out and by the time i got my back ups with Little miss on my hip it was all over.

Some Christmas gifts

2007-11-24T18:44:00.000+11:00

This is for Dad and Carol. First time i have ventured into scrapping for them, so if the response is poor and they are so paper thin, it'll also be the last. Caz loves animal prints, so hence the Zebra print.

And for my lovely neighbour, she's so sweet:) A diary and note pad. Can't go wrong with this old fave from Basic Grey.

Too much for one night but........

2007-11-24T00:47:00.000+11:00

but...i just had to change my tunes. I was looking for Dire straights or Angels my two fav bands of all time, but NO!

So this song also has special meaning to me from my days supervising in a cocktail lounge. We had some fantastic performers but our local "Vern", was the one that got the crowds in on the quieter nights. So this song always reminds me of him. I could be right back there now, lol........

A collection of Tahlia's 1st birthday pics

2007-11-24T00:20:00.000+11:00

The Stride to ride thing from Nanny and Pa. Loves pushing it around trying to walk, more than actually sitting on it.

Mum and Goldenchild (i fully admit to spoiling this baby with all the love and affection i have)

The dreaded family shot (mind you this was late, so i think we all came out alright).

The big performance is nearing

2007-11-23T23:00:00.000+11:00

These are some pics just before the dress rehearsal, hair, make up and all that jazz.

Not the best pic of Mikes, but you get the gist of her costume.

The dress rehearsal went great, i wasn't real sure what to expect as we aren't allowed to watch normal lessons, but they did fantastic. I watched Tamika obviously and she really had the dance down pat and new exactly what she was doing, even though we were in a different hall. Now theatre rehearsals on Wed, then the big performances Saturday and Tuesday nights. We are going the Tuesday night as both of us work that Saturday, Ian's parents are coming too.

Some scrapping stuff

2007-11-23T22:40:00.000+11:00

I am just so in love with this Paper Inklings paper, and have a few more different ones to do yet. Also bought this recipe holder for displaying my latest LO in my craft area in the lounge room.

Started one of three advent calenders too. I did this one for the WW at Blumars last weekend, so just used up old Christmas stash, but am looking forward to planning the other two better and doing some nicer colour schemes.

Mum makes steps....

2007-11-18T22:06:00.000+11:00

To finally let of some of her restraints, lol. Number one the safety sleep sheet. Wasn't happy, but she was ripping it off herself, so had to take the plunge. Look what mischief she got into the first day. Too much freedom now. Lucky for me, the breathing monitor is still working fab, almost amazing really.

Yep, another catch up....

2007-11-18T21:41:00.000+11:00

Happy 1st birthday Goldenchild, LOVE you to bits, even though most steps along the way have been hard for both of us. Was it me, is it Tahlia, who knows but I'm sure i have contributed to her shy, anti social behaviour. Considering my 'it's cool', attitude has disappeared, i think I'm seeing the difference. Things will never be the same.

This is also Tahlia at Kalen's Magnolia tree, it just wasn't thriving in the ground we put it, so it's on the move. In TLC garden care atm!

Just a catch up

2007-11-10T21:15:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow is the big 1st birthday for Tah's but her mental mother thought she could play supermum and still work all weekend. BIG REGRET! Anyways i got off work a bit earlier tonight and will finish at 2 tomorrow. We are having a BBQ here with hopefully lots of people. Did all the prep today, just the final bits left for tomorrow afternoon. Actually bought my first ever birthday cake though, so not totally stupid:)

On a more negative note, she is also back on AB's for another two ear infections. Day 3 tomorrow on the AB's, so hope to see her cheer up for the day.

Now a positive note, she is cruising around everywhere now, and i really believe it won't be that long till she is walking.

The bigger two are going well. Having a sleepover in Nanny's caravan tonight, so they are more than content. Mikes is still loving every part of Dancing and Nippers, and all the fun stuff is about to happen in dancing with the end of year concert coming up. Theatre rehearsals and dress rehearsals, and we also have her costume now too, very cute.

Have packed up all my craft stuff in prep for this weekend, so that part of my life is on hold again. One little brag though, won the LO challenge for the month at Blumars last month. I was really happy with the way it came together and now there is such lovely stuff being submitted, i was pretty happy.

ummm.......I'm sure there was more i wanted to share. I know it will come to me as soon as i turn off the puter.

October Challenges at Blumars

2007-10-31T14:17:00.000+11:00

This was a sketch challenge using 5 embellishments. I was really happy with this LO, although the photo of it makes the photo look washed out.

This challenge was to decorate a tin of any kind, so thought it was about time i made myself something.

Backs

Happy Birthday to me....for yesterday

2007-10-31T14:07:00.000+11:00

33 years young and had a fabulous birthday. From hubby and the kids i got a mix master (smashed my old one trying to pull the bowl off and threw pureed veges all over the kitchen), some seedlings that are already planted for me in a nice new garden. Also bought myself some pj's and thongs for the family to give me.

Went up to the shops for lunch with my sis and the kids and did some much needed shopping for clothes. Only spent $80 and got denim shorts and 3/4 pants, a beach dress and a top:)

We all went up to my club for a drink and got the kids dinner. Kids ran around and played beautifully, Tahlia nearly ended up down the stair a handful of times (was too relaxed and chatty to pay attention, bad mother). Got some cool pressies and some vouchers too!!!

Came home to oysters and prawns for dinner, PERFECT!

Physio

2007-10-30T08:57:00.000+11:00

Last week we had the appointment with Tah's at the physio and as i expected there is nothing wrong at all. Was given some ideas on how to encourage her to crawl and kneel and talked about the importance of crawling in a baby's development. Back next week to see how she has progressed.

She stands

2007-10-25T13:46:00.000+10:00

Well the goldenchild has learnt to pull herself up now and stand. Yay, more trouble to get into, lol.

1st time horse riding

2007-10-24T12:18:00.000+10:00

Mikes was invited to a horse riding party, and wow was she impressed. Thanks Matilda!!

October WW at Blumars

2007-10-24T11:03:00.001+10:00

This challenge was to decorate a key ring any way you wish. I made this obviously for one of Tamika's teachers.

The card challenge was a sketch and to make a thank you card, so these are Christmas thank you cards, again for Tamika's teachers. The pink/green part is one of the transparencies i did with the alcohol inks.

My attempt at alcohol inks

2007-10-22T20:57:00.000+10:00

and stamping....these are raw to me, i have so many plans for them, keep tuned. I just love the yellowy one.

Some pp to muck with.
These are the transparencies which are just so easy to play with.

This was done at my class with Rachel Greig, who is wonderful and very inspiring. (also helpful to those that haven't stamped much:)

Tahlia 11 months today

2007-10-11T13:51:00.001+10:00

Tahlia update

2007-10-11T13:34:00.000+10:00

Last week went back for Tahlia's check up at the doctors and still no change. Chest infection and two infected ears. Dr suggested some oral steroids for three days, nothing changed. Good news on that front though as she probably hasn't got any real asthma problems. So she is now on another AB. She is happy enough and sleeping pretty good at night so i can't complain, i just wish for her sake she could be healthy again.

Thought it was about time too, to pop into the health clinic with Tahlia. Not much weight gain, but enough to keep them happy. They are a bit concerned about the strength in her legs so have been referred to a physio. Joy oh joy. Not too worried myself, i reakon she was just having a lazy moment.

Still no crawling although she has managed to get around a fair bit lately on her bottom. Moves over into a crawling position, but leaves one foot tucked in front for her sitting safety.

Loves impressing us with her clapping and is also waving now too, very cute. Lots of all the babbling and continually says 'dadda', typical hey! You can say mama to her and all you get back is dadda.

Family update

2007-09-30T20:16:00.000+10:00

Tahlia saw the Dr 4 days ago and both her ears are still infected and full of fluid, Dr wanted to ride it out a bit, especially as she was OK generally speaking, (mild temps and sleeping OK at night). After 3 doses of AB's, i also didn't want her to have more of the same. So now 10 days off AB's, then going down hill again, i think she may be slightly improving. I have ANOTHER check up Thur. (no i don't get bulk billed and I'm brokER)

Jared has turned back into his naughty self, had about 4wks of this nice boy here in my house but he ran away again. Never know what to do with this boy, but we'll get there! Love him to bits but just never know how to keep him nice.

Tamika is on holidays and I'm looking forward to it. It's so nice having a big kid around, one that cares and listens:)

Have two big weekends of work coming up, i know I'll love every moment of it, but i also know it will knock me around. Tahlia is going great with Ian on the weekends, not so good though for my sis and girlfriend. Time will help...hopefully!

My challenges for this month....

2007-09-30T19:56:00.000+10:00

at Blumars.

Only real happy with the OTP, which was suppose to be 9 2in x 2in wooden blockes decorated for a puzzle. As easy as it would have been for Ian to knock them up, his time is limited and this was a monthly challenge, lol! So as you do, rumaged around the house trying to find an alternative. What i came up with was two match boxes stuck together! I left the matches in, (prob not too safe in a fire, lol and should come with a flammable warning but....), but they were much more sturdy that way and great shaker boxes too :) I made these for my sis.

Kids craft

2007-09-29T10:38:00.001+10:00

Thought it was about time i spent some time playing craft with the kids. So here are their for challenges at Blumars. First challenge was to decorate stars with glitter and tinsel. Tamika did the purple star (she tried so hard, it must have taken her half an hour to do the purple glitter glue) and the red ones, Jared the green.

This is a file/colouring book holder we cut down from a weetbix box.

This was heaps of fun and i'm all motivated to do lots more with them now:)

I've been tagged

2007-09-26T14:10:00.000+10:00

Here’s how it works:1. Players must list one fact, word, or tidbit that is somehow relevant to their life for each letter of their first or middle name.2. When you are tagged you need to write your own post containing your first or middle name game facts, word, or tidbit.3. At the end of your post choose one person for each letter of your name to tag.4. Don’t forget to leave a comment telling them that they have been tagged, and to read your blog.5. If I’ve tagged YOU (see below), please join in on the fun!

T~idy
I~n need of some more sleep
A~t the end of my baby days
N~ot aggressive
N~eed a big night out:)
E~nergetic, well i pretend to be

Ok, i tag;
Maria
Jodi
Skinny Steph
Carlie, (just to double nag:)
Kerryn
Mouse:)

See this why i don't normally do the tag stuff. I'm not witty at all, and very boring.

More stuff

2007-09-25T20:44:00.000+10:00

This the Better Homes and Gardens Album i bought and altered for Dad. I always find it so much harder to do boy stuff and my dad is such a simple person. He said he liked it :)

Falling behind again with sick kids, having such a rotten season with all the winter lurgies. Tahlia back tomorrow for a check up and she's miserable as! There is definatly a chest infection, but can never tell with the ears.

Me and my best friend.....

2007-09-15T23:47:00.000+10:00

Tahlia just loves playing in her room in front of the mirror. I didn't get to catch her slobbery acts of kindness this time, but she just loves playing with the girl in the mirror.

Give me five!!!

She is still on antibiotics with her last check up saying her ear drum has healed well, but her ear is still very red and infected. Back for another check up in just over a week. Still hoping (well my Dr is) that this is a one off infection (yeah right with my family history), and she doesn't have glue ear yet as everything is still so fresh so to speak.

Blumars August challenges

2007-09-12T14:13:00.001+10:00

I also did the coasters for the OTP challenge.

just family stuff

2007-09-10T19:59:00.000+10:00

Tahlia is going great after her ear episode, back to Dr's on Wed for check up. She is certainly starting to get into stuff now, mainly in her walker. Have to really get the house back into toddler world. I know i need to get over it, but i have got so use to having bigger kids in that sense, that it is frustrating. My beloved pp rack has had to be moved as she just beelined it, pulled off the cover and got into anything she could reach.

Jared's ears were great when i saw the Dr, major throat infection they tell me. New AB's now, but today he has come up with a horrible cough. It's the old 3 steps forward, 2 steps back atm. His behaviour has also taken a turn and he really has been a great a kid lately.

Tamika, as always cruises along. She is back in swimming lessons and learning freestyle and improving her kicking. She still loves her dancing, and is so utterly excited about her concert at the end of the year.

As for me, well once again Ian and the pro's were right. The councillor Ian and i both saw after Kalen died, Ian went back and saw couple of times. He was great, but one thing Ian went on about so much was this delayed grief thing as i was pregnant. He told me about it so many times and as usual i think i'm ok. Just lately i'm getting easily upset about Kalen, it really only takes a thought, and i'm all teary again. I'm ok, but am really starting to feel the raw pain again.

well, well, well

2007-09-04T20:44:00.000+10:00

From last kidlet update, both Tahlia and Jared ended are on antibiotics :( Things have been 100% perfect since, then this afternoon hit....

......just rushed Tahlia off to Dr's again, and we have one burst ear drum and one seriously infected other ear, chest infection and red throat. I am not kidding the little wonder was happy as anything all day, went off to sleep at 1.30, woke at 3pm, but not herself. Checked temp 37.8, gave panadol, checked temp 30mins later, 38.2, straight off to Dr for this little one. She only finished her course of AB on Sunday. Upped the dose slightly of AB's and must have another check in seven days. The Dr was pretty concerned about her ears.

I had a total melt down, couldn't stop crying for half an hour, and i'm not like that normally. Ian took her to the Dr's, as i just couldn't do it, he's such a champ. I am more comfortable knowing it's ears, at first i was panicking as she has absolutely no other symptoms (got big kids bathed early and dressed up warm in case we might be heading into hospital).

So Ian gets home with Tahlia, i realise all is semi ok, drops her off, and heads up to get her AB's and other drugs at the chemist. Jared complains about an itchy bottom, and on closer inspection is covered in some sort of huge raised lumpy rash all over his bottom and down his legs. I try and put on Dermaid being naive and directions say for itchiness, and he goes ballistic saying the cream makes it worse. So as Tahlia is screaming for each mouthful of food, i throw the shower on for Jared to jump in to get off the cream and give him a washer. That helped, he got back out of the shower, still these rash like welts all over him. All i could do at this stage was try and convince him not to scratch. Got him clean Pj's and he seemed to settle down. Ian gets home just as this has settled, and i show him straight away this intense rash Jared had, but would you believe, it had gone down to nothing more than a slight raised red rash, nothing like it was minutes ago. Very weird!!!!!

Night goes on, Tahlia eats everything plus for dinner, nothing stops her appetite obviously and I'm sure the drugs helped. Just as we are about to put Jarry to bed i feel him, and he's hot. Take temp 39.4. Panadol for him. He is comfortably asleep now, but he'll be off the Dr's tomorrow. I reakon it's his ear again, either way it has to be checked now.

I have a strong feeling, no it's not that, i will probably be seeing my ENT again.

So that's my afternoon!

My WW challenges

2007-08-22T12:56:00.000+10:00

I was pretty happy with myself for completing the 3 challenges at Blumars, what with work and sick kids. Tamika when she had her ears pierced. It was a sketch challenge and there is hand written journelling under the smaller photo.

This was also a card sketch challenge.

These are a monochromatic set of coasters and box that i made for a fathers day stall at school.

Ear problems strike the house again.

2007-08-19T19:21:00.000+10:00

Jared the poor thing has one raging ear problem, his ear is literally dripping gunk continuously. No temperatures or other symptoms, so i'll take him to the dr first thing tomorrow. We have certainly had our share of ear problems, but never seen it this bad. He is handling it very well, totally himself, just says his ear hurts.

Tahlia also has excess stuff coming out of one ear. She had some raging temps earlier in the week, but is fine now. So she'll be checked by the Dr too. She seems herself, just not being the gluten of an eater that she normally is.

Cruised through my second shift today. I was a lot more relaxed and didn't worry about the kids at all :) As for work, geez i really love to have some extra time time to get stuck into sorting the place out again. I'll get there as i do more shifts, but it's frustrating to work in.

I'm obsessed...

2007-08-17T16:28:00.000+10:00

with not wasting things. I had a couple of bits and pieces left over from Cj's and was determined to use up the lovely paper. I can say now, what was left over wasn't even worth the kids box :) Now i have some cards ready for that personal touch, like a chip board name on the front.

This also gave me an idea for the OTP challenge at Blumars.

These are the things that get me

2007-08-13T19:57:00.000+10:00

This is what Tamika bought home from school after one of her 'seasons for growth' courses. I literally burst into tears. Poor Tamika didn't understand, but i explained.

everyone survived....

2007-08-12T20:10:00.000+10:00

Today has been perfectly successful. I had these horrible thoughts of Tahlia whining for me, something that just breaks my heart, but NO, she survived wonderfully for 51/2 hrs!!!!! Go Dad, you champion!

Work was great, just as i expected and it was great catching up with everyone. BUT, yes i worried about the kids for the first time ever. Normally i go to work and forget all home stuff for the time i'm there. All day i was thinking about Tahlia and how everyone was going. Also realised this is the first time i am returning to work as a mum of 3.

Tahlia is 9 months today

2007-08-11T10:31:00.000+10:00

So yay now she can have small amounts of normal milk. I also love standing in the baby section at the shops and checking out the cereals she can now have too. Lol, it's the small things in life hey!

Tahlia is going good, still a needy child, but i have just accepted that now, rather than thinking tomorrow will be a good day, we just work around it. She still has no interest or better still, hates being on her tummy, so definitely no crawling yet. She eats all her solids really well now and i have cut out her bedtime BF as it was just causing us both grief with her waking up with wind a couple of hours later. I still feed her once over night to make up for it.

Oh and she popped her first tooth last week :)

I'm back to work tomorrow, should be interesting to see how Dad goes with the three of them. Wish us all luck.

My kids create the moment of the day, AGAIN!

2007-08-04T19:00:00.000+10:00

We had a birthday party to go to at the miniature trains not far from here. The line up to get onto a train was about half hour, so party plan was to feed kids and get that done, then they could all go and line up for the trains. Well this was too boring for my two and they started throwing sticks onto the tracks. After a huge berating from both Ian and i, we thought it was over. Nope half hour later a train has derailed and Ian is dragging Tamika and Jared over by their ear lobes, almost.

At first i thought it wasn't Mikes and Jared as Ian wasn't going off his brain at them, but soon realised that he was being diplomatic and not letting the 100+ kids and their parents know that it was actually our children stopping the train that everyone was waiting for.

Also, the day didn't start without an original hitch. As leaving party No 1 at 11am, another parent informs us you need fully enclosed shoes to ride the trains. So only originally thinking of Jared, i rush into warehouse shoe store, which i find out is warehouse for everything very expensive, and finally find a pair of Dunlop volleys for $30, and that was cheap. THEN, get to the car and realise Tamika is in sandals. At this time I'm seeing RED! So another $30 later, this day is already way too expensive!!!

My SS for Christmas in July

2007-08-04T10:23:00.000+10:00

This is what i made for the lovely Maria at Blumars.
It's a little fold out note book and i sent some funky chipboard letters as my gift. Considering i was worthy of a phone call, i think she liked it :)

This is what it was originally.

WDYT??

2007-08-01T19:51:00.000+10:00

I have been convinced to put Miss Tahlia into a baby competition, so I'd love any extra votes. Mmmm the big prize looks very nice!! You can vote every day if you love me enough :)

http://www.babyexpress.com.au/shop/photo_gallery/current.php

Thanks for any help!

An early start but......

2007-07-29T06:59:00.000+10:00

look what i achieved! Tahlia had me up from 2.30am and didn't go back to sleep till 4, so it's best for me to just stay up. Finally finished my last two challenges for Blumars, an altered journal and a card. Challenge was black and white with only a small amount of gold or silver.

Happy 6th birthday Miss Mika

2007-07-26T18:48:00.001+10:00

Tamika with that horrible pose she does, on her new bed.

The cake smashing.

Tamika and her lovely teacher, i swear she takes extra care of her, probably does for everyone, but that's how sweet she is.

This year for Tamika there was no party as such so i tried to make up for that and made it as special as possible and full of surprises. First surprise to her was Nanny and Pa visiting the day before her birthday, she got a Pixel chik thing and just loves it.

Next morning we did all the presents, but she new she had to wait till the afternoon till she could see her new bedroom. We gave her the 'magic bindees', can't believe i am giving in to fads already and then lots of bits and pieces as you do. Ian started work at 6am, so it was an early start for all of us, he missed brekkie, but as per request from the birthday girl we had croissants for breakfast after he left. Off to school she went.

I wrote a note in her diary for school and told her teacher i was bringing in a cake for recess, but she didn't know yet. I made a normal cake and iced it, but then made a chocolate shell covered in smarties and sprinkles in a large pan and covered the cake with that (idea straight from the WW cake decorating cook book). The idea being that she smashes the chocolate shell as the birthday girl. The kids all loved it and the teacher was impressed too. My decorating wasn't too flash but the idea behind it was a great success.

Wednesday is dancing, so she came home for a brief moment and saw her new room and was very excited, happy and grateful (she is such a sweetheart), then off she went again. In that time we had family all come over for a mini surprise party. She was pretty happy with the day.

GREAT NEWS!!!

2007-07-26T18:25:00.000+10:00

My inlaws neighbour, whom is an ambulance officer and the first to treat Kalen unofficially (after Ian obviously), had a baby boy yesterday. She was pregnant at the time we lost Kalen, but lost her precious girl about a week after birth, due to her placenta being cut during a c section and the little cherub was denied too much oxygen for too long. Having our sad connections, this has just made my day. One thing that is even more amazing is that he was born on Tamika's birthday. I just wanted to share for those that have followed my stories of Kalen from the beginning.

Happy Angelic 2nd birthday Kalen

2007-07-24T20:12:00.000+10:00

Two years ago today, my life was about to become perfect, there's not much to say, except it's not fair.

Took the kids up to the cemetery this morning before Tamika started school. The inlaws were coming for a visit in the afternoon so didn't want to use up that time. Tamika thought it was a gorgeous idea we put a teddy on the grave for Kalen's birthday.

Today has been harder than i thought, i think i haven't built this up in my mind so much and now it is kind of hitting me.

A week in review

2007-07-21T12:17:00.000+10:00

The kids this morning before going out in the boat with Dad for the day.

Tahlia in her new bath seat, i still love bathing her out in the lounge room, so can't give up the baby bath just yet:)

Monday took Jared to swimming lessons, as he turned out to be the only one in the class, he had a great lesson. I think his teacher has taken a bit of a shine to him and she jumped out of the pool at the end of the lesson and gave him a sports award, (has Macca's and DVD deal vouchers on it). Jared was very proud, and a great start to building up his confidence for speech therapy in the afternoon.

'Talking school', as Jared calls it, went really well. This fortnight we are doing the sounds s, sh, p and t. Jared is going great at all of them, but struggling with t. I just have to pick my times with him as to when we do our practise, he's not real keen but as he is getting better it is getting easier for him.

Tuesday, started moving Tamika's furniture into her room and getting the old stuff out.

Wednesday, buzzed up north to catch up with Steph. Got lost, but made it in the end. Had a nice lunch and not long enough chat.

Thursday, massive spring clean washing day for the two rooms in mention, curtains, quilts and linen.

Friday, completed all of Tahlia's new room and 99% of Tamika's. I wish i had taken 'before' photo's, but there's nothing special about Tahlia's room, just another nursery so i won't post a pic of it now. I definitely will though when Tamika's is finished.

Sooo busy, just a big whinge

2007-07-15T19:35:00.000+10:00

Had two birthday parties yesterday and one today. Today was a 1st BBQ, so as much for the adults as for the kids. I had a great afternoon and it is so nice to get out and be sociable again. It was a bit of a work get together, so a nice warm up for going back to work.

I'm starting to wonder why having 3 is so difficult this time round. I always kind of thought it could only get easier as they get older, but it isn't. Is it me again? I just never seem to stop and never seem to get on top of things. My bathrooms are growing, the floors have a new texture and glaze and everything else is still endless too.

Tomorrow it continues, Jarry has swimming lessons and speech therapy, I'm looking after a nephew or niece, as only one can fit in the car, and the other will just have to go to work with my sister. Tamika goes back to school Tuesday, but she is my helper!

Also have had two nights on the lounge with Tahlia, (i can't bare the thought of putting her into a bed with me, too worried about how heavy i sleep when i do and the blankets etc.) Although i sleep with her on the lounge, i wake every hour or so and try and put her into her own bed, but she wakes just as I'm warming up my bed again and back off to the lounge i go. Sleep is too vital.

I have just over a week now to convert Mika into her new room. So another job that has to be done.

As for scrapping, i am so glad i get things done when i can. If i had a CJ that had to be done this week, it wouldn't have been. So I've missed out on the Blumars WW, unless something miraculous happens tomorrow. As i always say, so little time, so much i want to do!

as of today

2007-07-14T20:05:00.000+10:00

I'm going back to work in a month. Not sure of the exact dates yet, but have spoken briefly to my boss and i'll be seeing him when he returns in a week from holidays. It's a 50/50 feeling, especially knowing there will never be another maternity leave, but i think i need it as much for me, as for the money. I'll start on one day a week, on Sunday and they are 6 hour shifts , and then we'll take it from there.

Very skeptical about how Tahlia will handle this, but it has to be done. At worst she can be bought in for a feed on my break, but i can't imagine Ian bowing to that. She will have to have a later feed than normal but so be it, she is on 3 solids a day, and buggers around heaps when i feed her, so she isn't desperate for it. She is also starting to take small and i mean tiny amounts of water from a bottle now.

Some scrapping

2007-07-14T19:51:00.001+10:00

This is for Yonni's CJ, 'looking out your window'. Now sure what the relection is on the photo, looks like my fire but i'm sure it's not. It's not on the photo in the CJ anyway.

This is my attempt at the challenge at Blumars for a colour photo and black and white LO only with a hint of gold or silver. The shadow letters aren't very clear in the photo, but say 'moments'.

Things are getting better....

2007-07-12T09:14:00.000+10:00

It has just been amazing the difference with Tahlia, now that i have realised what i was doing. She may whimper or whinge, but surprise surprise, she does stop if you give her a minute. Yesterday she played in the walker for an hour whilst i was doing dinner and just now she has put herself off to sleep, as i let her whinge for a few minutes in her cot. I am starting to feel a bit more in control again.

2007-07-10T10:47:00.000+10:00

Jared had his first assessment yesterday for his speech and as i already new, he isn't pronouncing the beginning of words properly. The lady said he can say almost all sounds but isn't getting them out right all the time. She said his sentence structure is great and he is comprehending very well. So it's a simple case of just correcting his speech, there are no other underlying problems. We are also going to test his hearing again because of his history, but more so just to rule that out.

2007-07-07T19:00:00.001+10:00

Yesterday was too busy to actually do anything different with Tahlia. B'day party in the morning, then we went down to the food and wine festival in the afternoon. As per normal, i literally had to wake Tahlia to go out each time, as she fell asleep just before we had to leave.

Some great news though, Jared has got through the waiting list for speech therapy and has him first assessment on Monday. I so stoked the ball is now rolling as he has over 6 months till school next year and this could make all the difference.

2007-07-07T18:43:00.000+10:00

Mmmmm, not sure why i can't put a title in but anyway...

The problem is me!

After a big heart to heart last night, that was actually instigated by Ian, i can only agree now that i am causing a lot of my problems with Tahlia. There's so many things i've realised i'm doing that is going to cause the most spoilt baby in the world, if i don't snap out of it soon. Not in a materialistic way at all, just the attention i pay her. I can't stand to hear her cry or even whimper to be honest, so back up on my hip she goes.

I have always had this on my mind but really didn't think i was doing too much pandering, till it was all pointed out to me very sensitively.

On a positive for myself, we both agree i try to make things up with the bigger kids and spend as much time as i can doing things with them. But, the draw card is with all this effort, i just am simply exhausted.

So i may not have all the answers just yet, but hopefully i can sit back and take a better look at what i'm doing. As always, tomorrow is another day, and once again i'm full of hope it will be a good day (when will i learn, lol)!

2007-07-06T11:33:00.000+10:00

I had a bit of a melt down last night. Tahlia woke up at 7.30 after going to sleep at 6. Let it all out on Ian, who's typical reaction is 'well what can i do anyway'. We had a big chat on Sunday night about just how miserable things are with Tahlia and i asked him to come to the clinic with me this Tuesday and tell them how hard Tahlia really is. I told him, I know i'd get there on my own and say yeah, yeah everything is fine and to make me go and get some help. Anyways he never mentioned it again.

After i finally resettled Tahlia, nothing was mentioned again. As i had also chilled out by now, i just let everything slide, although i really had so much to say, but i just had no energy left to start a possible argument. Main point i wanted to make was, I am not the sole parent of Tahlia, feel free to change a nappy, offer to feed her or just simply take her off my hands for a moment. Something that has never been done and she is almost 8 months.

Don't get me wrong, there is no problem between us, just as soon as things get unbearable again i just have these expectations of him helping me out. I know it's half my fault as i don't ask, but just for once, couldn't he offer??? I've explained female mentality to him before, but he just doesn't get it!!!

Now for Tahlia

2007-06-30T19:58:00.000+10:00

Well not much has changed, she still only sleeps a MAX of 2, 20 to 40min sleeps a day and that's if I'm lucky. We have had a pretty rotten last week with lots of next to sleepless nights and one very unhappy little girl. I sure hope it's teeth as something is up. She has the bright red cheeks, slight temps and could gobble down a rusk in no time, literally.

On a good note, she is gaining weight very well and has now passed the 10th percentile bar. As normal with our kids her head is normal and on the 50th. She sits now very confidently but has no interest still in her tummy time and crawling.

3 good meals a day now brekkie, cereal and fruit, lunch fruit and yogurt and dinner pumpkin and then custard. She has 5 breast feeds (one being overnight), but manages to usually skip one over the day as much as i try.

I love her to pieces, but goodness gracious me, she is hard work!!!!

Some scrapping bits

2007-06-30T19:46:00.000+10:00

I made this for Jared's B'day, he just loves it and so far so good at him looking after it.

A circle journal with the theme inspiration, under each cloud i have written more.

Another circle journal with the theme of fav holiday.

Happy 4th Birthday Jarry!!!

2007-06-26T07:00:00.000+10:00

Dad pumping up his plane.

My first attempt at cake decorating, it's a hedgehog bum you can see.

Hot wheels track.

Spiderman puzzle.

Remote control spiderman car from Nanny and Pa.

Jared had a great day from beginning to end. We had a small Macca's party and he has been spoilt rotten.

2007-06-21T13:46:00.000+10:00

So how am i going 'now'?

2007-06-21T12:50:00.000+10:00

I have been asked this a bit lately, so i thought i would try and sum it all up here.

Definitely still good and bad days. It's hard not getting upset when I'm doing the 10th lap around my house with an unsettled baby. I think the better things are generally, the better i feel about everything. I guess everyone is like that. The two hours i was waiting to hear how Dad went with his operation, were really worrying for me. At the time, in my philosophical way was thinking...i feel like a smashed pain of glass, that has finally had all the pieces picked up and slowly put back together, but I'm still very fragile, please don't add any extra pressure

Friends tend to think it will be upsetting for me to see kids the same age as Kalen should be, but i find it the opposite. It helps me to imagine what he would be up to, as this is something i find hard to do.

It's still very important to me to include Kalen in the answer to the question, How many kids do you have now? Catching up with old friends from old social circles, i just have to tell them when the subject of family comes up.

Reading the monthly SIDS newsletters breaks me up everytime and takes me right back to the original pain. Reading stories of others is like a sad addiction, as depressing as they are, it's also nice to know you aren't the only one.

Music, as it does, also brings back memories, obviously Creed's With arm's wide open, but also 'Forever young' and 'Seen better days' by Pete Murray.

Tamika is still doing her "Seasons for growth" course through the school and i was happily surprised to find out there are 2 other boys in her class doing it too. I never wanted her to singled out with all this and it makes it more comforting to know others are with her from her class.

Scrapping my scraps....

2007-06-20T19:36:00.001+10:00

These are my challenges from the weekend workshop at Blumar's!! Rumour has it i won the the book mark one, Yay for me. So i once again i refrained from scrap shopping and got by with what i had. The baby card is for Bianca.

What's been happening

2007-06-20T19:05:00.000+10:00

Dad had his operation last week and is now home recovering. He was originally to stay in hospital 8 nights but left after 7, so that has to be a good sign. The day of his operation was a bit stressful as he he didn't come out of recovery till 5.30pm and we were told to expect 3.30pm. So looking back now it has been a big week, escpecially going to see him everyday.

Mini little drama with preschool of late, and that is with them putting Jared to sleep. He hasn't had day sleeps in nearly 2 years and may be going to school next year. Lately he has been coming home after preschool and not getting to sleep till 8ish, which is a far cry from their normal 6.15pm bedtime. Anyways we'll deal with that.

Tamika is going great and received her second merit award last week. Even more exciting though, is we are going to move her into the spare room. Ian suggested it, but i always thought we should have it as a spare room for his parents. So we'll talk to them and explain they can still stay and sleep in our room, but they do tend to bring the caravan down most the time now. So i'm off to set up her room now, Ian has already made her a new toy box and i bought her a bed canopy today off ebay.

Jared is cruising along, and sort of trying to keep out of trouble. Went to the shops the other day to get lollies for his party bags and he finds a sword (about a metre long and very well decked out in plastic) in a garbage bin on our way out. Trust the guy at the register to say it was ok for him to have it. Spent the next hour grocery shopping explaining to freaked out people that i DID NOT give it to him.

What a weekend....

2007-06-12T14:50:00.000+10:00

Things really started Thursday, with very heavy rain. The afternoon cleared up, so off i trot to school to pick up Tamika and by the time i left school it was teeming down again, 3 kids and no umbrella, Tamika had her raincoat luckily. I put Tahlia in my jumper with her head out my neck hole too and just told Jared to run. We were saturated!!!!

Power went out Friday afternoon till Saturday afternoon, them back off that evening till Monday afternoon. Nearly 72hrs we went without power accept for a few hours Saturday night. It was horrible, but i don't want to complain as our house is fine as we all are, so that's the main thing. The devastation has been incredible, we were blocked in the first morning with a tree covering the road, and just over the hill a tree has crushed a caravan in someones driveway. If there had been anyone in it, they wouldn't have had a chance. With all the trees above us here, we were so lucky! Water came up to our backdoor Sunday morning, but didn't come in. We lost some food, but that's nothing.

I did a few trips to my sisters for bathing, washing and hot meals, but that wasn't till Sunday when she got her power back. Ian worked 3 12 hr days, as most other techs had their own house problems, then a half day on his only day off yesterday and is now working till 8pm tonight. He is buggered!!!

The kids were pretty good considering. Poor Jared still doesn't get along to well with the dark so he woke a few times crying during the night. He was pretty excited last night when we told him that his fishy light would work ALL night. Tamika was suppose to sleep at my sisters Saturday night but got the tears and Ian ended up picking her up at 8.30pm at night. Not sure what that was all about, she has slept overe there regularly since she was 2, but she will be getting stern words next sleep over about being picked up.

One yuck thing that also came from the blackouts was i was getting headaches. I can only put it down to the low light levels and stress, but thankfully they are all gone today.