I have been toying with the idea of putting Tahlia into preschool with Jared this year. Not only are my babysitting options down to only, my one wonderful best friend who also works 5 days a week (looks after my 3 one Sunday every 5 weeks), but Tah's has some huge separation anxiety problems and still to this day won't let anyone else hold or feed her except Ian and I (Tamika feeds her at Leigh's, true!).
So as i ponder this idea, i realise everything has to be just right, work available, preschool days available that match Jareds and so on. Knowing these things probably are not going to be easy, so kind of give up on the idea. Need to mention here too, we are broke, with me being back at work my 2 shifts we are only just matching Ian's old wage :(. I grab any extra shifts i can that fit in with Ian home.
So.......i walk into work yesterday and my work mate who covers lots of shifts in the cafe tells me she is retiring, good on her. My mind starts ticking....next my boss comes and retells me the news and that if he can't cover 2 of her days he has to employ someone else. These two days happen to be Jared's preschool days the ones i would want if i did put Tahlia in to child care!!!!!
Now i am left with the option of taking it all on now, or maybe missing my chance to get those days shifts for maybe years. It just feels to me that everything is coming together for a reason and this is meant to be. BUT, i hate the thought of Tahlia being put into childcare at 16months, it just doesn't seem right, she is too young. Ian is very keen, he has no probs off loading the kids like me. The only good part i think is Jared will be there, rather than waiting till next year and she will be on her lonesome as he starts big school.
I'll be taking on 5 shifts a week then, about 30 hrs all up, but if Tahlia can play the game at childcare, 2 of those shifts are when all kids are cared for, two are nights and only one day when all the kids are home and Ian has them. So i don't feel i am totally neglecting the family, just giving Ian the opportunity to be more of a home dad.
So i guess all in all my mind is made up, but I'm sad for Tahlia. I have to do the 'cruel to be kind' thing. I hate having others look after her, but she needs it, and we certainly need the money.
If you got that far reading my woes, thanks! It's a kind of bitter sweet thing atm.
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Heya Tianne, I know its hard to let the kiddies go, but remember that yes, in a round about way, the things you do are for them anyway, and that the staff at preschool are experienced and know how to best handle seperation issues. Like you say, things are all coming together for a reason, and Tahlia can only benefit - especially socially - from being at preschool. And its only a couple of days. Its not like you hand your kids over to someone unknown 9 hours a day 5 days a week. Try not to feel guilty. From what I know of you you are such a devoted mum!
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