End of year rap up

So the photos kind of say it all, Jared has finished up preschool now and Tamika has had her end of year concert for dancing. Nippers is still up and going, both big kids doing that now and love it.

Tahlia is her normal self, 2 going on 12, so she'd like to think. Talks very well for her age and stands up for herself to no end, i think we have a mini Ian here, lol!!!!

More coming with Christmas update soon :)

Tamika's ice skating party

Our snow trip photos

Jared on the scadoo.

Off for their ride, Jared is on the front one, you just can't really see him.

Little Miss mischief, poor thing was house bound but she was good enough

Dad and the big kids

Tamika

Jared

Mum and big kids

Mika about to take off

So what's been happening?

The girls had their grommets in 2 weeks ago and poor little Mika had to have her adenoids removed again! We signed the consent forms at an appointment but the chances were less than 1:100 and thought she was OK, (no more heavy breathing and sleep apnea), but alas not. Ian and i new something was up when she was in surgery for so long. Anyways it's all done now and Tamika's hearing is fantastic and very noticeably better.

Jared's soccer is still heaps of fun and yesterday we handed back the weekly trophy for player of the week. Jarry was so proud, as all the team are when they get their week. He certainly has his good and bad days though, it's frustrating when he has a game and he's off in la la land. So new rules include no sleepovers away on Friday nights and sausage sanga or drink if he puts in 100% effort after the game. It's not about winning or scoring the goals, it's about how hard he tries.

As for me, well I'm fine and well, but not so sure about all this work. I love my job, the actual work isn't the issue and i am now managing to keep up at home but that's where it all ends. There is no me time, or just spare time. I haven't organised anything socially since i started doing the 5 shifts so my friends and family have been neglected, i scrape to keep up on the Internet and my emails and have even chosen online shopping for Jarry's birthday as i just don't get to the shops without him.

But how do i go back in pay when we are just getting things together again financially. It's a no win situation, guess I'll just have to go harder and make the social thing happen (if i can do Tahlia's party after a day of work i can do anything). Just having a whinge.......

On the good side of that, Ian is being super dad and really making the most of his career change for better hours. The kids really do have a great family life, even if it is Dad or Me and not us all together.

Kind of makes maternity leave tempting again, NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol


Thought i needed a shake up on my blog, hopefully i can better again at keeping it updated. Have heaps of photos to share and have just noticed how old my slide pics are now, so promise to update that too very soon.

LOVE GUNS AND ROSES, and thought this would be a nice song to add.

hello...

Life is just moving way too quickly.


Mika is growing up and really starting to work other kids out. She has a heart of gold that girl and will tolerate most of what other kids can dish out, but i have now seen her lose the plot and almost rip another friend apart for the first time. This was also after they had spent 3 days and two LATE nights together.


I saw the prob unravelling, Tamika is picking flowers for me as i watch out my kitchen window, friend intentionally knocks them out of her hands. Tamika comes in upset telling me what happened, friend follows her in and tells me Tamika was hitting her! Tamika saw red and yelled so ferociously back at her about lying. She stormed to her room and told me friend was not allowed in her room. What do you do, i saw the friend being totally out of line, but she was due to go home any minute. I don't believe in the 'so and so' can't go in my room at any time, and this was no exception, but friend decided to go out side with the boys! Dad arrives and kids slip off home, Tamika then balls her eyes out at me for not getting to say goodbye! Who can work out 6 year olds hey!


As for Jarry, he's cruising along. Loves computer games atm, considering he isn't into tv at all, it's not that bad. His soccer is going great guns and he has learnt some good little lessons too. The first few games were all about goals, for all the kids. Then the kids all started stripping the ball off their own team mates and scoring goals. Jared having size on his side managed to perfect this technique and scored 6 of the 10 goals in one game. After about the 4th time he steals the ball just before the goal Ian and i are getting embarrassed. By the end of the game he got in trouble from the coach and was made to apologise for his last steal to the player involved. Since then he has been a perfect team mate and not done it since (and still scoring goals). So we are very happy and proud he has taken the advice on board. Don't forget we are talking under 5's, lol, but they do have one rockin little team.


Now devilchild, ooops i mean Goldenchild:). Wow she is almost 18 months and has definitely hit the toddler tantrums (something actually quite new to me) and warming up well and truly for the terrible two's. Nah, she's not that bad, i think i just forget, but she is so into everything and nothing is off limits to her. You know when she is ready for bed as she goes from one naughty thing to another. It's great having the older two, they do most my dirty work now, 'get the remote of Tah's or get Tahlia down from the table', they love being bossy and i don't get the screaming at me, lol!


Took some cute pics today of Tahlia with little pig tails that made her look like an alien, a pretty one though. I was too efficient with packing up and put the cable thing away in the bedroom so will try and upload soon.

Everything is good

Just busy as always, hate to sound so commen.

Nippers (surf club training) is all finished accept for presentation night. Now soccar and dancing are in full swing, and i'm loving every moment of it. Jared scored 2 goals at his last game and both of us were very proud parents. His first game he was goalie, and he did a fine job at that too, saving 4 goals and l got in. Both games our team has won!!! Very cute.

As for me, just adjusting to my new work schedual of 30 hrs a week, all good so far.

I won...

Ha, not what you're probably thinking, but i have my sis addicted to card making. She originally dabbled in some scrapping, but lost heart. So now i have finally hooked her into card making. She is going crazy wanting to get stuff. See what happens at one of Rachel Greigs classes.

I am so happy to have someone to play with:)

Jared

the upcoming soccar star...

the punk rock climber

Just for fun....

I did this first page all on it's ownsome, but when the challenge came up at Blumars WW of doing a LO without a picture, this was the best idea i could come up with. Not to mention i missed the hint about the 'love' theme, so don't think i was too convincing when i told everyone how much Tahlia really loves the phone.

This was also for the Blumars WW. The challenge was to decorate a bandaide tin, this was my decorated tin.

3 chickadee's off to school

Bits and pieces in craft world

This Lo is for the monthly challenge at Blumars. This is still my fav photo of the goldenchild so far. I also used the bubblewrap painting technique taught to us by Sharnook at Blumars. I used the two different sizes of bubbles for the two colours to help match her dress.

Look at this, i learnt to emboss, finally!!!! I hade some luck last week and Ian hurt his foot (that wasn't the lucky part, lol) and had a couple of days off work. So managed to slip in one of Rachel Greig's classes on 'shabby chic'. Always love Rachel's classes and hope to do another one at the end of the month, 'brushless painting techniques'. Have my talked my sister into coming too, so hopefully i can get her into craft stuff yet!

Wednesday the 13th of February

At least the day is almost over. I have had a dreadful headache all day, not even panadol could cure, not sure if i should blame Kalen or Tahlia for it. Too much going through my head. Just a miserable day all round including the weather. I felt pretty down this morning but have picked up over the day. There is nothing really nice at all about this day. We planned to go down the beach this afternoon, but it was too cold and miserable.



One shining part of the day was Tahlia at child care, she had a great day!!! I'm totally shocked and was not prepared for her to spend the day there. So kept pottering around the house cleaning and tidying. Will be better planned for Friday :). I am just so proud of her.



Ian and i weren't game to go out to lunch so oppted for takeaway hamburgers instead, but the shop was closed due to Chinese new year. Must keep that in mind for next year, lol! So toasted cheese and tomato sanga's at home it was.

Tomorrow

is one big bad day. I already have mixed emotions about Tahlia starting Preschool, and know it is going to end in tears, mine and her's. Not to add the already emotions of Kalen. This afternoon has been a mixed run of what i was doing this time two years ago.

I think today will be worse than tomorrow, or i am hoping. I know last year, my main thought was 'thank goodness it's not one year ago'. It still rips my heart apart when i let myself really go back to that time.

One good thing.....i always thought i'd never let go of the thoughts of Kalen's actual death, something i thought about every single day. Now i don't think about it daily, have been lately, but that's made me realise.

Two things that made my day today, a wonderful friend visited for lunch, someone who will probably never realise how much they mean to me, and another friend who rang. She was looking for someone to take over a gardening job and wanted someone with good work ethics. I can't help her out, but chuffed i was asked.

Really missing my little boy tonight, and there was something sad about putting Tahlia down to sleep tonight.

more

I took Jared to speech therapy this week and picked up 'Sydney's child' ( a free large mag published based around Sydney and childrens interests). Really only picked it up as we were 10mins early. Flick thru and the first article that grabs my attention is 'Pregnancy after loss'. Knowing these articles are normally based on miscarriage and still birth, it still always gets me after the stress and agony i went thru with Tahlia. I read, and to cut this story short, i start to feel some resemblances not only with me but with another story i have heard recently. Yes, it's the lady from Australian story. So now i have her name 'Jane Hansen' and her book was '3 Seasons', that's when i put it all together.

I am just so satisfied someone can get out there and tell their story and be of such strength. I am no one, but i am just so proud of this lady.

Why do things happen the way they do?

Today I put Tahlia down to bed just before 12 for her sleep and she went off as per usual. Big kids were taken down the beach by Dad as the sun came out unexpectantly. So indulged myself with a bit of scrapping and had a go at the bubble wrap LO class by Sharnook.

Next i hear Tahlia crying, wait a moment thinking she'll go back to sleep, but more crying and it's getting worse. Knowing she won't be going back to sleep, i get her up after only half an hour. Figure i'll sit on the lounge and watch TV and hope she nods back off to sleep, as she normally sleeps a solid 2hrs.

So grab remote and flick on TV, note here that i don't watch TV pretty much ever. Get to ABC and see premmie baby and new i was hooked to what ever this show was going be. Turned out to be 'Australian story', and was the story of parents who lost a baby at 8months from the ongoing complications of cronic lung problems from premature birth. They took him home from 3 and a half months, he was going so well.

Anyways, i sat there just bawling, tears wetting my lap trying to avoid dripping all over Tahlia. The interviews with mum were just so intense and the words she was saying about losing a child rang only too true. (now i'm crying again) So i keep holding Tahlia tight and watch the entire show.

Two things i just can't let go off, these are not quotes by any means, just how i remember them,

the overwhelming love and grief hits everysingle cell in your body, it is a state of mind, something you become

i have a broken heart, but it is a bigger and better one now

She was or is, an amazing woman, i should find out more about her, she has written a book.

Well Tahlia fell back asleep, so i wonder why she woke up and i put on the TV!

Decision made

Well it was pretty clear where i was heading, but just needed the back up support from those i love. So it's official, the Goldenchild starts preschool not this week but next and i start my extra shifts in March. This way she get's to have a gradual intro to preschool, and the first week or two she'll only go a couple of hours.

Positives,
* I trust and am happy with the care Tahlia is going into. This is the fifth year i have have children in there.
* Tahlia needs more interaction without me involved, maybe one day she will actually let someone else hold her
* Money
* I am heaps more organised when i work, sounds weird, but i am. No time to put things off till tomorrow
* two full days with no one home, hence no one to make mess:)
* I love my job and it will be great to get back into it more. The more i am there, the easier my job is all round, if that makes sense.
* Dad gets to be more of a Dad ;)
* Already have some holiday hrs owing so it shouldn't be a problem getting the week off here and there that i need over the coming year.

Negatives,
* Less home time which means less craft time.
* No swimming lessons this year for Tahlia as i'll always have Jarry too.
* Coping while we go thru the 'adjusting' stage with Tahlia being left at preschool.
* Preschool illnesses :(

So positives definately outweigh the negatives.

Finally took the camera

We are always down the beach, but having Miss Tahlia around i don't let go of her pretty much anywhere near the water and she loves sucking on shells and eating sand, so she is a handful to say the least. Thought it was about time to get some more pics at the beach, but what a hassle, told Ian I'll go get some pics of big kids before he goes in. Come back to find Tahlia filling my camera bag with sand, GRRRRR men!!!!

My washed out sand pool Tahlia and i made. Also the better of the photos of them all together.

I brief moment keeping Talia's hat on. Only because she is more interested in getting into my camera bag.
Jared looking pro, he's getting there and proud as punch!
Jared's new board that he loves to pieces.
Watch her Tamika and don't let go of her!!!! Dad is surfing and mum is taking pics.

A big decision to make

I have been toying with the idea of putting Tahlia into preschool with Jared this year. Not only are my babysitting options down to only, my one wonderful best friend who also works 5 days a week (looks after my 3 one Sunday every 5 weeks), but Tah's has some huge separation anxiety problems and still to this day won't let anyone else hold or feed her except Ian and I (Tamika feeds her at Leigh's, true!).

So as i ponder this idea, i realise everything has to be just right, work available, preschool days available that match Jareds and so on. Knowing these things probably are not going to be easy, so kind of give up on the idea. Need to mention here too, we are broke, with me being back at work my 2 shifts we are only just matching Ian's old wage :(. I grab any extra shifts i can that fit in with Ian home.

So.......i walk into work yesterday and my work mate who covers lots of shifts in the cafe tells me she is retiring, good on her. My mind starts ticking....next my boss comes and retells me the news and that if he can't cover 2 of her days he has to employ someone else. These two days happen to be Jared's preschool days the ones i would want if i did put Tahlia in to child care!!!!!

Now i am left with the option of taking it all on now, or maybe missing my chance to get those days shifts for maybe years. It just feels to me that everything is coming together for a reason and this is meant to be. BUT, i hate the thought of Tahlia being put into childcare at 16months, it just doesn't seem right, she is too young. Ian is very keen, he has no probs off loading the kids like me. The only good part i think is Jared will be there, rather than waiting till next year and she will be on her lonesome as he starts big school.

I'll be taking on 5 shifts a week then, about 30 hrs all up, but if Tahlia can play the game at childcare, 2 of those shifts are when all kids are cared for, two are nights and only one day when all the kids are home and Ian has them. So i don't feel i am totally neglecting the family, just giving Ian the opportunity to be more of a home dad.

So i guess all in all my mind is made up, but I'm sad for Tahlia. I have to do the 'cruel to be kind' thing. I hate having others look after her, but she needs it, and we certainly need the money.

If you got that far reading my woes, thanks! It's a kind of bitter sweet thing atm.

Two more LO's

This was one LO i have been wanting to do for a while now. Here i was roughly 6months pregnant with Kalen. I have no idea what i did, but fiddled around with photo editing to get the dreamy kind of look i was after.

My first little play with chalk inks, and i LOVED it. Can't wait to get more now. Thankyou too, to Ngaire for teaching this fab class. That will probably be the end of my scrapping for next week or so, have heaps of other things that'll keep me busy.

Scrap catch up

This is a desk top calender that was taught to us by Sam(Pootle) at Blumars

CD covers for each of the kids of Kalen's photos
An exploding album taught to us by SamJ

Quick catch up

Still has those fingers in her mouth

The nicest pic of them all together i can get atm

No real exciting news, just playing happy families and trying to save $$$'s. Girls had their ENT appointments last week and have both been booked in for surgery to have grommets. They have been rated as emergency and the Dr hopes to operate late Feb/early March. Tahlia's tonsils are fine, so very happy we aren't considering chopping them out.