Tomorrow

is one big bad day. I already have mixed emotions about Tahlia starting Preschool, and know it is going to end in tears, mine and her's. Not to add the already emotions of Kalen. This afternoon has been a mixed run of what i was doing this time two years ago.

I think today will be worse than tomorrow, or i am hoping. I know last year, my main thought was 'thank goodness it's not one year ago'. It still rips my heart apart when i let myself really go back to that time.

One good thing.....i always thought i'd never let go of the thoughts of Kalen's actual death, something i thought about every single day. Now i don't think about it daily, have been lately, but that's made me realise.

Two things that made my day today, a wonderful friend visited for lunch, someone who will probably never realise how much they mean to me, and another friend who rang. She was looking for someone to take over a gardening job and wanted someone with good work ethics. I can't help her out, but chuffed i was asked.

Really missing my little boy tonight, and there was something sad about putting Tahlia down to sleep tonight.