Tahlia and mummy weekend

Dad took Tamika and Jared up to Forster this weekend for Mother's Day, so that just left Tahlia and I. Besides the major cleaning that has been going on, it has been so nice not to be so hectic. I ducked out and saw Oliver's soccer game, but that was the extent of my travels.

Tahlia is now 6 months and i just want this month to fly, then hopefully i can sit back and enjoy her and not stress too much. I am still being strong and have not worked out the mathematics to when in comparison Kalen died, I'll do that after this month is up. I know the stress i went through when it was the 1st anniversary of Kalen's death, so i don't want to know the right dates. Just let this month end. Also it is the month of the anniversary of mum's death.

I am happy with how i am going, i still could not sleep at night without the angelcare monitor, the best investment i have made. I have weaned myself from having the parent unit blaring in the kitchen at night, as that was waking me from her stirring. She doesn't generally sleep during the day, despite my best efforts, so no need to worry then.

The amount of times i have held her, with all the thoughts in my head about Kalen, and tried to take in everything i can. Her smell, her touch, the look in her eye's, how her toes look, the shape of her head.............i know just how quickly it can all be taken away.