An early start but......

look what i achieved! Tahlia had me up from 2.30am and didn't go back to sleep till 4, so it's best for me to just stay up. Finally finished my last two challenges for Blumars, an altered journal and a card. Challenge was black and white with only a small amount of gold or silver.

Happy 6th birthday Miss Mika

Tamika with that horrible pose she does, on her new bed.

The cake smashing.

Tamika and her lovely teacher, i swear she takes extra care of her, probably does for everyone, but that's how sweet she is.

This year for Tamika there was no party as such so i tried to make up for that and made it as special as possible and full of surprises. First surprise to her was Nanny and Pa visiting the day before her birthday, she got a Pixel chik thing and just loves it.

Next morning we did all the presents, but she new she had to wait till the afternoon till she could see her new bedroom. We gave her the 'magic bindees', can't believe i am giving in to fads already and then lots of bits and pieces as you do. Ian started work at 6am, so it was an early start for all of us, he missed brekkie, but as per request from the birthday girl we had croissants for breakfast after he left. Off to school she went.

I wrote a note in her diary for school and told her teacher i was bringing in a cake for recess, but she didn't know yet. I made a normal cake and iced it, but then made a chocolate shell covered in smarties and sprinkles in a large pan and covered the cake with that (idea straight from the WW cake decorating cook book). The idea being that she smashes the chocolate shell as the birthday girl. The kids all loved it and the teacher was impressed too. My decorating wasn't too flash but the idea behind it was a great success.

Wednesday is dancing, so she came home for a brief moment and saw her new room and was very excited, happy and grateful (she is such a sweetheart), then off she went again. In that time we had family all come over for a mini surprise party. She was pretty happy with the day.

GREAT NEWS!!!

My inlaws neighbour, whom is an ambulance officer and the first to treat Kalen unofficially (after Ian obviously), had a baby boy yesterday. She was pregnant at the time we lost Kalen, but lost her precious girl about a week after birth, due to her placenta being cut during a c section and the little cherub was denied too much oxygen for too long. Having our sad connections, this has just made my day. One thing that is even more amazing is that he was born on Tamika's birthday. I just wanted to share for those that have followed my stories of Kalen from the beginning.

Happy Angelic 2nd birthday Kalen

Two years ago today, my life was about to become perfect, there's not much to say, except it's not fair.



Took the kids up to the cemetery this morning before Tamika started school. The inlaws were coming for a visit in the afternoon so didn't want to use up that time. Tamika thought it was a gorgeous idea we put a teddy on the grave for Kalen's birthday.



Today has been harder than i thought, i think i haven't built this up in my mind so much and now it is kind of hitting me.

A week in review

The kids this morning before going out in the boat with Dad for the day.

Tahlia in her new bath seat, i still love bathing her out in the lounge room, so can't give up the baby bath just yet:)

Monday took Jared to swimming lessons, as he turned out to be the only one in the class, he had a great lesson. I think his teacher has taken a bit of a shine to him and she jumped out of the pool at the end of the lesson and gave him a sports award, (has Macca's and DVD deal vouchers on it). Jared was very proud, and a great start to building up his confidence for speech therapy in the afternoon.

'Talking school', as Jared calls it, went really well. This fortnight we are doing the sounds s, sh, p and t. Jared is going great at all of them, but struggling with t. I just have to pick my times with him as to when we do our practise, he's not real keen but as he is getting better it is getting easier for him.

Tuesday, started moving Tamika's furniture into her room and getting the old stuff out.

Wednesday, buzzed up north to catch up with Steph. Got lost, but made it in the end. Had a nice lunch and not long enough chat.

Thursday, massive spring clean washing day for the two rooms in mention, curtains, quilts and linen.

Friday, completed all of Tahlia's new room and 99% of Tamika's. I wish i had taken 'before' photo's, but there's nothing special about Tahlia's room, just another nursery so i won't post a pic of it now. I definitely will though when Tamika's is finished.

Sooo busy, just a big whinge

Had two birthday parties yesterday and one today. Today was a 1st BBQ, so as much for the adults as for the kids. I had a great afternoon and it is so nice to get out and be sociable again. It was a bit of a work get together, so a nice warm up for going back to work.

I'm starting to wonder why having 3 is so difficult this time round. I always kind of thought it could only get easier as they get older, but it isn't. Is it me again? I just never seem to stop and never seem to get on top of things. My bathrooms are growing, the floors have a new texture and glaze and everything else is still endless too.

Tomorrow it continues, Jarry has swimming lessons and speech therapy, I'm looking after a nephew or niece, as only one can fit in the car, and the other will just have to go to work with my sister. Tamika goes back to school Tuesday, but she is my helper!

Also have had two nights on the lounge with Tahlia, (i can't bare the thought of putting her into a bed with me, too worried about how heavy i sleep when i do and the blankets etc.) Although i sleep with her on the lounge, i wake every hour or so and try and put her into her own bed, but she wakes just as I'm warming up my bed again and back off to the lounge i go. Sleep is too vital.

I have just over a week now to convert Mika into her new room. So another job that has to be done.

As for scrapping, i am so glad i get things done when i can. If i had a CJ that had to be done this week, it wouldn't have been. So I've missed out on the Blumars WW, unless something miraculous happens tomorrow. As i always say, so little time, so much i want to do!

as of today

I'm going back to work in a month. Not sure of the exact dates yet, but have spoken briefly to my boss and i'll be seeing him when he returns in a week from holidays. It's a 50/50 feeling, especially knowing there will never be another maternity leave, but i think i need it as much for me, as for the money. I'll start on one day a week, on Sunday and they are 6 hour shifts , and then we'll take it from there.

Very skeptical about how Tahlia will handle this, but it has to be done. At worst she can be bought in for a feed on my break, but i can't imagine Ian bowing to that. She will have to have a later feed than normal but so be it, she is on 3 solids a day, and buggers around heaps when i feed her, so she isn't desperate for it. She is also starting to take small and i mean tiny amounts of water from a bottle now.

Some scrapping

This is for Yonni's CJ, 'looking out your window'. Now sure what the relection is on the photo, looks like my fire but i'm sure it's not. It's not on the photo in the CJ anyway.




This is my attempt at the challenge at Blumars for a colour photo and black and white LO only with a hint of gold or silver. The shadow letters aren't very clear in the photo, but say 'moments'.

Things are getting better....

It has just been amazing the difference with Tahlia, now that i have realised what i was doing. She may whimper or whinge, but surprise surprise, she does stop if you give her a minute. Yesterday she played in the walker for an hour whilst i was doing dinner and just now she has put herself off to sleep, as i let her whinge for a few minutes in her cot. I am starting to feel a bit more in control again.

Jared had his first assessment yesterday for his speech and as i already new, he isn't pronouncing the beginning of words properly. The lady said he can say almost all sounds but isn't getting them out right all the time. She said his sentence structure is great and he is comprehending very well. So it's a simple case of just correcting his speech, there are no other underlying problems. We are also going to test his hearing again because of his history, but more so just to rule that out.

Yesterday was too busy to actually do anything different with Tahlia. B'day party in the morning, then we went down to the food and wine festival in the afternoon. As per normal, i literally had to wake Tahlia to go out each time, as she fell asleep just before we had to leave.



Some great news though, Jared has got through the waiting list for speech therapy and has him first assessment on Monday. I so stoked the ball is now rolling as he has over 6 months till school next year and this could make all the difference.

Mmmmm, not sure why i can't put a title in but anyway...

The problem is me!

After a big heart to heart last night, that was actually instigated by Ian, i can only agree now that i am causing a lot of my problems with Tahlia. There's so many things i've realised i'm doing that is going to cause the most spoilt baby in the world, if i don't snap out of it soon. Not in a materialistic way at all, just the attention i pay her. I can't stand to hear her cry or even whimper to be honest, so back up on my hip she goes.

I have always had this on my mind but really didn't think i was doing too much pandering, till it was all pointed out to me very sensitively.

On a positive for myself, we both agree i try to make things up with the bigger kids and spend as much time as i can doing things with them. But, the draw card is with all this effort, i just am simply exhausted.

So i may not have all the answers just yet, but hopefully i can sit back and take a better look at what i'm doing. As always, tomorrow is another day, and once again i'm full of hope it will be a good day (when will i learn, lol)!

I had a bit of a melt down last night. Tahlia woke up at 7.30 after going to sleep at 6. Let it all out on Ian, who's typical reaction is 'well what can i do anyway'. We had a big chat on Sunday night about just how miserable things are with Tahlia and i asked him to come to the clinic with me this Tuesday and tell them how hard Tahlia really is. I told him, I know i'd get there on my own and say yeah, yeah everything is fine and to make me go and get some help. Anyways he never mentioned it again.


After i finally resettled Tahlia, nothing was mentioned again. As i had also chilled out by now, i just let everything slide, although i really had so much to say, but i just had no energy left to start a possible argument. Main point i wanted to make was, I am not the sole parent of Tahlia, feel free to change a nappy, offer to feed her or just simply take her off my hands for a moment. Something that has never been done and she is almost 8 months.

Don't get me wrong, there is no problem between us, just as soon as things get unbearable again i just have these expectations of him helping me out. I know it's half my fault as i don't ask, but just for once, couldn't he offer??? I've explained female mentality to him before, but he just doesn't get it!!!